if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
