she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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