Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Randomize
