xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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