Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
