Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
