i would punch a child for taco bell
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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