Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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