He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
