my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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