Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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