look no pants
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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