She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
