can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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