real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
