Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
