I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize