Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize