I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
