i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sober January is a disaster.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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