The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
