I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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