TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
