Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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