just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am available for nakedness
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize