What did we do last night that was yellow?
he thought i was a dude.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
