if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
