at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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