YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We are all done wearing pants today
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
