White coat. Heels.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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