I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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