Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
