i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
