i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
