I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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