I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
