So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
