so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
