So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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