I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
