She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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