Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize