I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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