2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
