i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
