its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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