I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
