I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
