Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
