just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
