The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
