I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
