Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
