i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
