I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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