Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
