i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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